You know I roll to the hobby shop, socks and flops on
Cardboard box never stop, flip the vox on
Got my codex, my army is a hex
You know a squiggoth almost always trumps a carnifex
And I got my figurines, little army of hooligans
Necron player gonna make him a fool again
Points too high, win value is boolean
True or false test, send me back to Ork school again
IG guns got armor pen naught
so I can roll a save when my Boyz get shot
lest I'm fraught with peril like Lynch and Merrill
Use a shoota for a club, make Astartes sterile
wait, chem therapy took care of that for me
Bladeback tank, Papa Smurf can blow me
Out of the game but my Boyz got spores
if you give it some time, a new WAAGH!'ll make war!

My hit rate's shit so I need more dakka
And my rhymes need swagger like YTCracker
I should act like Jolli and be more blacker
songs never get done, I'm a nerdcore slakka

Now I'm cruisin' through space in my junk-ass hulk
and I'm makin' planetfall, dealin' death in bulk
No time to sulk, red paint means fasta
got a sun power core, steerin' with a Thigh Master
And I got my Mekboyz whippin' up some Mega Armour
If I see a Battle Sister yeah I promise I will harm her
with my yella Power Klaw, rippin' through Pontius Glaw
no bladed cloak stands against my mighty southpaw
Chaos motherfuckas wanna claim my prize
then I'll knock out the Despoiler and I'll maim his eyes
for layin' covet to my planet with his Black Crusade
watch B pull the pin on a rap grenade!

Now it's back to reality, the source of depravity
Galaxy of war givin' you points of insanity
Fuckin' up a battle is a green-skinned tragedy
B as the Boss, my Boyz laugh at me
HQ'd Meks and a squad of grots
for all the good that it would do me just as well have snotlings
out of the ass, bumpin' those hoard tactics
WAAGH! on my side, need no air dynamics
next skirmish, rock Kult of Speed
Warboss on a bike, Tau should take heed
keep him at range, like a van so strange
"Free Candy" on the side, mattress in a cage
then he'd be dealin' purple damage like a winkin' slob
manicured chest hair? Son, get a job
with groups of kids do not hob-nob
And shove a Lincoln Log up your stinkin' hog
But I didn't come here to talk weekday activities
Came to throw down and perform a pride-ectomy
Chain-scalpel stat to inflict a disability
Leave you toothless, my special hill-ability
I won't finish up 'til I've wiped up the floor
The board is a mess, bloodlust gaggin' for more
Now it's to Taco Bell to carouse everymore
I will be back next Sat., time to settle the score!